Fed up with the new Obama regulations? Yo, me too! And I believe in climate change! But back East here, where we have been alternating Spring days with Winter days, this new regulation to turn our clocks back on Winter days, then Spring forward again on the nicer ones, is driving everyone batshit.

And when a cold Winter day in the morning warms into Spring in the afternoon, well, don’t get me started. It’s complete chaos. People are leaving work early or staying too late; they have no idea when their train comes. Kids are getting to school at all hours. On a couple of Sundays, preachers have bellowed in near-empty cathedrals.

DVRs are just spinning frantically, and now there’s a whole Facebook group called “Missed the Finale of ‘True Dectective’ Because of the Time Change.”

Please share if you want to stop all the non-Daylight Savings Time nonsense. Then write your Congresswoman or jowly old white guy occupying a seat, and tell them we don’t need government in our clocks every day. Of course, we don’t know if the Congressional houses are nearly vacant because of the clocks or because Congresspeople are just lazy and spend most of their time sucking away on the government teat. Or both.

You might have to ask that crazy woman from Tennessee, Marsha Blackburn. She’s there every day and night, sputtering out ridiculous gibberish to anyone who will listen. Believe me, somebody’s making a mint selling headphones to janitors. Probably a Congressman. Blackburn needs to be in a Home, not The House.