I was in a pick up bar in Torremolinos, Spain, just about to make my move on a Scandinavian of severe pulchritude, when an actual giraffe walked in. He strode up to the bar and then turned to scan the room and said: “The high balls are on me”………


“And by the way,” he added, “I’m looking to buy a pickup but guess I got a bum steer from the old man who directed me here. I had a feeling that everything I said went over his head. Now i know for sure.”

 Russell Fuller

I guess I was imagining things, maybe had too much to drink. I mean a talking giraffe in a pick up bar, and a funny one at that? Must be the Spanish equivalent of a pink elephant.

Anyway I was there with the intention of keeping my roll going of meeting and enjoying Scandinavian women who flocked down from places like Oslo and other cold sounding climes….

Two nights ago it was Bodil, a viking gal, a Danish pastry, and last night -I forget her name – but she was this amazingly neat Swedish gal, who actually picked me up. Said she loved American men. Great. We went strolling out on the moonlit beach and did some hand holding and a lot of laughing and then came upon two ponies…

 new user

You might think ponies having sex would be a turn-on. It is. For the ponies. But at that moment, we felt more like intruders than fellow breeders.


 Hocus Pocus

So we backed off and found this sandy dune, well – they are all sandy are they not?- and she told me she was a bit tired and invited me to recline, dune at our backs to contemplate the stars, the now distant wild ponies of the night, and the energy that was arising from us.

Probably we were both thinking along the same lines, the “fellow breeders” angle, but suddenly the night sky was rent as a

 new user

flare went up from a yacht anchored out in the bay.  Then a very big engine cranked up off to our right.  A dark sleek shape running without lights roared up and onto a plane and the thing headed straight for the yacht, a half mile dead ahead.  It had to be doing 50 knots and bore in on the hapless yacht.  We could see tiny figures scrambling around on the yacht’s decks, some jumping overboard, some trying to launch a dingy from the stern.  All too late, they were frozen in the beams of high intensity floodlights that flashed out from the bow of the shadowy attacker just seconds before the thing smashed into the starboard beam of the yacht and two enormous fireballs, one following on the next, leapt hundreds feet into the sky.  Pieces of the two vessels rained down and a lake of fire burned on the surface where the two craft had met.


maybe you are on that?You can imagine what went through our minds. The ponies left off pony-making and scattered up the beach as our wide-eyed looks settled upon one another, resulting in rather immediate access to first base as we held on to each other in shared excitement. Second base was well in hand when we heard a splashing and looked out to see what must have been one of the survivors struggling up the beach, she was ..


radiant with pearls of starlit droplets cascading over the molded jewel of her body, and seemed more concerned with the sand on her face than the fact that she had just escaped smithereen city. We were shell-shocked, spell-bound and baseball interruptus which rendered us unable to do much more than stare as she approached us. In her hand was a

 new user

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